#Hypnos saved my dignity only slightly by giggling quietly

[starfacenix]

The garbage story

I was having a small chat with Hypnos when I had remembered I forgot to bring those stupid fucking recycling and garbage cans to the front for garbage day. It was late at night (11:30 ish) and it was dead quiet on my street. Hypnos said he’d keep me company while I did so and I asked dryly if he’d keep me safe if someone tried to kidnap me.

He said he’d call for help. lol.

By the time I was outside I got too scared and also called upon Hermes and Dionysus because that’s how much of a pussy I was being.

I know I live in a relatively safe neighborhood but IT WAS LATE OKAY

So I try moving my garbage can when I realize it is absurdly fucking heavy, and it stinks so fucking bad. I have trouble actually getting it to move, but when I did the smell fucking wafted around me, making me gag. By then I feel like I hear giggling. I ignore it and instead decide to make progress with my recycling can as it was easier to move. I complained the whole time about this being terrible and being ridiculously scared of being kidnapped. And also not having any help.

[I know it’s just taking out garbage. I’m dramatic]

I go back for the garbage can and it honestly truly was some of the worst smelling garbage ever. Literal shit in a can type of smell. I put my shirt over my nose but it didn’t help in the slightest. I complained aloud to the three gods LAUGHING at my struggle, crying about how bad the smell was and also making remarks about how lucky they should feel for not having to do this.

That made Dionysus laugh harder.

I have about three very short steps I need to get the can down from and my god, this is when it gets really bad. After the first step I almost dropped the can fully, and I just barely managed to save myself by sitting down and furiously saying to these BULLIES how scared I am of the can falling. The feeling of laughter only got louder and louder.

Yes, I did successfully get the can down without falling on my ass or dropping it, but I learned one very important and valuable lesson tonight.

Do NOT do any chores that are even slightly embarrassing around these gods.

Dionysus specifically.

Never calling on them for company and a feeling of safety again.

[I’m kidding(not really) but they know I’m posting this so whatever]